How Much Time is a Long Time?

Time's a funny thing.

We all know how slowly time seemed to have gone when we were young.  It took, or at least it seemed like it took, ages to get out of elementary school.  We had junior high (not middle schoole) when I was a kid and the 3 years spent in junior high were insufferably long.  Then came high school, another 3 years, and again, time seemed to drag. 

The pace quickened when I got into my twenties, my thirties are completely unaccounted for, my forties a blur and so far, my fifties are at warp speed. 

I remember the first time I flew coast to coast, I couldn't believe I'd be on a plane for 6 whole hours in a single leg of my routing and yet, I was and yet, I have been countless times as I've continued several trips "home" to St. Pete a year, each of these almost 30 years I've been living on the West Coast. 

I remember the first time I went to Europe and I couldn't believe I'd be on a plane for 8 whole hours in a single leg of my routing and yet, I was and yet, I've been countless times since as I've continued vacationing and working in Europe and the UK these past 16 years.

I remember the only time I flew to New Zealand and I couldn't believe I'd be on a plane for 13 whole hours in a single leg of my routing and yet, I was and though I've only been once, it was the easiest time zone change I've ever experienced - it's tomorrow minus 4 hours.  How civilized

Not like going to the UK or Europe where I gain 9 hours, eat like a starving pig at breakfast and as the workday begins at 8 am, local time, I stare at the room full of teachers whose lives I'm committed to changing and I wonder if they can hear my body clock as it shreiks "it's time for bed, it's eleven pm, it's actually past your bedtime, you're too old to be up this late, you must go to sleep, you must sleep NOW!"  Shut up, body clock. 

I've been behind before.  I've neglected accounting, I've let the weeds overtake the flowers, I've not vacuumed, I've skipped bleaching the whites, I went to Europe once with one pair of underwear and a box of mini pads.  I'm a scrimper, I'm a negotiator, I'm a sacrificer.  I know I can pull anything off and I can do it under extreme stress and I can do it well. 

But Mom died and it threw everything off. 

Just now, as in yesterday, as in earlier today, am I getting caught up on things that I let go in order to be with her.  And I was only there for 4 visits, and the visits were relatively short, certainly shorter than I'd have liked. 

But while I was with her, I wasn't tending to studio matters and things piled up.  I don't have any administrative help so every single accounting task, every single planning, organizing, arranging, corresponding, responding, itemizing, initiating type task went either completely untended or grossly under worked. 

In the past week, I've balanced over 20 checking account statements, I've compiled year end reports for my accountant who has been patiently waiting for them since early January and I've finally, with confidence and accuracy, been able to determine that I hardly have any money.  This, I suspected but wasn't completely positive about.  Now I'm completely positive.

It seems like Mom's been dead a long time, but it's really only been a few months.

It seems like I'm still 14 but I'm really almost 52.

It seems like, now that she's gone, nothing could possibly happen that would throw me off like this again.

It seems like Mom's been dead a long time, but it's really only been a few months. 

Only a few. 

I head to the UK on Wednesday for a week of teaching, I'll try to post next Monday night (they're 6 hours ahead of EST so you might not see it til your Tuesday morning, all you east coasters) but if I can't know that I'll get back to you as soon as I can after I return on April 1st. 

Love and Prayers From Here to There.