And then she was gone

Mom was so happy when I told her Pooge and I would continue posting to her blog after her death. You'd think she'd have a long list of approved topics, ideas about censorship especially for me, or some attempt to guide content, but no. Her only request was that we continue to end each post with her closing salutation, Love and Prayers From Here to There.

With pleasure.

As you know by now, mom died last Tuesday, October 28th, at about 8:45 in the morning, North Carolina time.

It certainly helps to have known it was coming, and it certainly helps to have been able to spend time talking about the fact that we knew it was coming, but somehow, the world seems slightly different. At least my world does.

I think we can all be sure mom had a lot to do with Rocco's homer in the last game of the World Series. Sitting in my Seattle studio alone, watching the game, I burst into tears a milisecond after Rocco's bat made contact, absolutely certain mom had helped him swing, then helped him run, then helped him recover. How she loved Rocco.

Her last few days were pretty rough. From Friday through Monday, she had a lot of pain and Pooge ended up having to administer morphine every 30 minutes around the clock to try and keep it under control. That worked, and mom rested comfortably the rest of the way.

Between 5 and 6 am on Monday, mom was downright chatty.

She told Pooge she was seeing a crowd of people but she didn't know who they were. She kept saying "my name is Betty, my name is Betty," as if she were introducing herself to new friends. She also talked about Maddon's Mom, saying it over and over again. Joann pinned her down on the details and it was true, mom was talking about Joe Maddon's mom, saying that she was watching Joe's mom on TV.

What I take this to mean is that a bunch of baseball fans came to get mom and that she has cable in heaven. This is all good news.

About a week before mom died, Hospice had told Pooge not to be busy and fuss around mom, that activity surrounding her would keep her here longer than she would otherwise stay. They described her as half way here, half way in the next world. And I think that's true, since mom had visions and hearings and plain old hallucinations a lot toward the end.

We think her kidneys shut down a day or so before she died. We also think she was hemmoraghing. The physical aspects of her death were remarkable to us because we saw and helped her go through so many changes but in the big picture, they weren't nearly as bad as they could have been.

Mom's last words to Pooge were "don't be gone long," said on Monday as the nurse was giving her a bath and Pooge was headed upstairs to shower and make herself some food. Mom's last words to me, on Sunday night, were "I love you Becky, I love you." Mom never complained about pain or her situation, in general, but she did run a tight illness-command center with frequent and insistent email requests, Google and Switchboard.com searches and especially food orders. Hospice said mom could eat anything she wanted those last few weeks, so the gloves came off, the bacon fried and the ice cream was dished.

Good Lord, how she enjoyed her food, almost to the end.

So, her last breaths came as Pooge and I talked on the phone and we're sure mom knew we were talking to each other and that we were talking about her - she has dominated our conversations our whole life - and that we're fine, we're going to stay fine and that her legacy is in loving hands.

Without a care that a single thing had been left undone, untended, unsaid, off she went.

Pooge bathed her, dressed her in her favorite blue nightie and placed a Rays bumpersticker in her hands. The logo, the team name, and the words "I live for this." She sure did.

Her St. Pete service is scheduled for December 20th at her church, Lake Seminole Presbyterian. We'll have a Steubenville service in the Spring, one in North Carolina in late Winter, and I'll host one in Seattle just after the new year. Mom always wanted to but didn't travel much in life, but her ashes are sure going to get around.

When Paul Newman died recently, his obit was on Page 3 of the Seattle Times. Mom's obit ran on Page 1 of the St. Pete Times. She was front page news twice in the last 3 weeks of her life. The most famous Leone, her obit online carries well-wishes from baseball fans and readers all over the country, including one from the entire City of Philadelphia. Only one idiot, Gus, wrote something inappropriate but it doesn't matter.

Nothing does, except mom lived a great life, she died a great death and Joann and I, and many of you, will honor her with our friendships, our passion for baseball and our love of life, now and forever more.

Love and Prayers From Here to There.

Baseball Betty - rest in peace.